Go fuck yourself

“Go fuck yourself.” That was the closing comment in a Slack thread where I did something outrageous: I disagreed.

It started when someone posted a message I didn’t agree with. I replied politely, challenging the assumption. Instead of defending their position or even engaging in a back-and-forth, they apologized for “causing division.” I answered that division isn’t a bug, it’s a feature. I might said something like “Cows in a cowshed are united”.

That’s when someone else chimed in with: “go fuck yourself.” 

Now, that response made me think about how uncomfortable we’ve become with productive friction. Disagreement is not disloyalty. If anything, it’s the root of wisdom.

In Talmudic study, there’s a concept called אִפְכָא מִסְתַבְרָא “the opposite makes more sense.” It’s not just allowed to argue. You’re obligated to actively look for counter-arguments. Not because you want to win, but because truth emerges from collision.

And it’s not just a religious or cultural idea, there’s math and Bayesian statistics to back it up.

Take the paper titled “Too good to be true: when overwhelming evidence fails to convince.” It demonstrates how too much agreement undermines credibility. Paradoxically, a contradiction makes things more believable, more credible.

Bottom line: if no one in your team ever says “wait, I’m not sure,” you don’t have a culture, you have groupthink. If this happens, bring an outsider and give them a mandate to argue. You can hire me for that. Seriously!

👇 Let’s talk. You may even keep the profanity 😅

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